How Being Present Keeps the Peace

“Stuck in my own head,” “spinning,” “ruminating,” are some of the terms many people use when they feel like the mind is taking on a world of its own, which can often leave us feeling overwhelmed or experiencing emotions we don’t want to feel.

On one hand, you have thoughts about past experiences, which if positive, cause you to feel happiness and gratitude. However, if they are negative, it can leave you feeling sad or depressed.

On the other hand, you have anticipation about the future, which if it’s positive and something you’re looking forward to can result in feeling excited, eager, and hopeful. However, if the future event or anticipation of it is negative or something you feel unsure or weary about, it can leave you feeling worried, anxious, and afraid.

 So, how does one find peace if they’re feeling depressed about past events and anxious about the future?

Experts have a system called 10/80/10. This is where when you’re in those dark places in your mind, you focus on this ratio of not allowing more than ten percent of your negative thoughts to be about the past or future and keeping eighty percent of them focused on the present.

The point here is that you give majority of your attention to what’s happening in the present. It’s a way to “snap out of it” so to speak.

For instance, if you find yourself in a low or sad mood because you’re ruminating about negative memories from the past, it’s okay to feel the emotions, however, not to stay there and let it consume your whole day or life. Remember to move on to the life events going on right in front of you.

The same is if you’re feeling anxious about the future… Bring it back to what’s happening right in front of you.

When we focus on what’s in front of us – not dwelling on the past or present – we’re able to embrace life more fully, rather than float through it preoccupied and on autopilot unable to experience it.

This 10/80/10 tool can help prevent you from remaining stuck in negative emotions that can keep you unhappy and stuck.

So, when you’re mind wanders to those places causing you to feel upset and overwhelmed, remember not to stay there. Get back to the eighty so you can make the most of the life you’re living right now.